valmont, devin lynn

[devin valmont]

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THE BASICS.

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_{name, devin lynn valmont.
nickname (s), dev.
age, seventeen.
hometown, byron bay, aus.
birthday, october 29th.
mother, ashley david, 41, psychiatric nurse.
father, christopher valmont, 46, police officer.
siblings, tristan mclaughlan.
role model, miley cyrus, fuck yeah.
history,}

i was born here in byron bay, to parents i do not know to this day. there were three of us, actually. triplets. identical. thank the fucking lord my parents gave us up for adoption, i couldn't stand living with three of me. i can hardly stand one. anyway kenya and rosalia. rosalia's like italian or something, i don't know. she lived in italy for awhile apparently. anyway, i don't know them that well or whatever, but they seem pretty chill. i guess. anyway so i was adopted by ashley david and christopher valmont. cool shit, yeah. i was their only kid, except my dad had another son named tristan. we kicked it sometimes and he's really nice, i just don't know. about anything really. so i've lived with my mom my whole life here in byron bay, blah blah. til my mom got diagnosed with stage four cancer of the brain. awesome, i know, so she went to some hospital in the midwest united states to get treated, and i went and lived there for like a year and a halfish. finally she started dying, and they were like "we don't want you there, it's getting worse" so they sent me back here and i can't even spend the time i have left with her. which is none now, she's only alive because of machines and i pretty much lost her like 3 months ago. and so i left about 2-ish months ago, and came back. to live with my dad, here in byron bay. who i heard was a tool, but i haven't really known him my whole life. i mean, i lived with him when i was little, but we left because he was abusive.

i hated coming back here, partly because i loved my mom, i mean we were never that close but she was a good fucking person. and i couldn't be with her. and partly because i didn't want to live with my fuckup of a father. i didn't know until i got here what he was really like, and surprise surprise, he's a tool. he drinks all the fucking time, and he's really mean. and when he gets mad, he takes it out on me, and he's hit me and stuff. it really scares me because when he's sober he pretends nothing happens, and he's so glad to have his daughter here blah blah blah. he's police chief here in byron bay, too, so it's not like i can do anything about it. bogus, i know. but i can deal with it. i've convinced myself i can deal with pretty much anything. i mean i'm still alive right? this shit isn't gonna kill me, it's just gonna make me stronger. but really? i fucking hate my life, and if i could, i would kill myself right fucking now. but i feel like i owe something to my mom, to my brother, to my friends and especially to jackson. so i don't consider it. but really? i consider it.

oh, yeah. jackson. jackson pierce, actually coach pierce because he's the head football coach at byron bay secondary school and a sub teacher. well, hey. give me a break, i didn't know that when i met him. i'd been gone for a year, and he was new working there. when i met him, i had no idea. he thought i was older than i was, i thought he was younger. not that he's old, though. he's definitely not. we met in a diner, he was kind of drunk and i had just got back and started working at it again. and i just kind of talked to him, a lot, and gave him a ride home. and yeah, that's how that started. then first day of school, i see him walking in the halls and go up to him like, i didn't know you went to school here! because we had both said we were in college (a little fib there, on my part) and he was like, i don't. i coach football and sub. and i was like, oh shit. so we fought a little, for a few weeks, then we figured we couldn't really stay away from eachother, like i've never really felt an attraction to a guy because i'm so put off by the idea of like, sex and stuff. i don't know why, i've always been really sensitive about the subject. but i have like this attraction to him, and i can't help it, i just want to be with him. so, we're kind of dating. secretly, i mean. we're really bad at it, though. but it's okay. um, yeah, that's about all i can think of. if i think of any more, well, i'll let you know? sure.

THE OPINIONS.

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"devin's always been a really great girl. she's kind of sarcastic, though. almost like, if that were a language, she was fluent no doubt. she can never really be serious, i mean, even this whole time in the hospital she's been making jokes, trying to make the both of us feel a little better. it worked, but it didn't shake reality. i was still dying. and she'll always be my little girl, i love her to the moon and back. i hope she grows out of her uncomfortable stage. she's kind of uncomfortable when it comes to being around guys, i've never known what that was about. i mean, it makes me think something happened or something, maybe when she was younger, but she never said anything so i believe her i guess. i worry, though, because i hope she can get past it and find someone she loves. "

ashley david, 41, mother

"devin's a smart ass. she thinks that it makes things easier, joking around about everything but it really doesn't. she jokes with her mother about her illness and it's not okay with me, it's very serious and i'm sick of her whatever attitude. she needs to grow up, she's already seventeen."

samantha, 67, grandmother

A LETTER

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dear jackson,

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so, i'm without you right now. you are at an away football game with the team, and being away from you kind of makes me sad..that sounds dumb and clingy, so that's why i'm probably nottt going to send you this? i don't know, i've always been freaked out at the thought of being clingy and stuff. i've always had kind of an uncomfortable thing with guys, but i don't really have that with you, which makes me want to be near you more. but like, i don't know if i can do some of the stuff. i'm gonna tell you why, but you're not going to read this so, not really. maybe someday i'll actually tell you. but i've always been uncomfortable with the topic of sex. i've never known what it was about, but last night, my dad snuck into my room and..did that. and it brought back memories from when i was little, and he did it to me. and i figured out why. and it happened to me, but i blocked it out, i guess. but subconsciously, something was still up. i'm still really confused and i don't know what to do about it, and maybe i'll come to you with this because, i don't really know. i want help, but i don't know how to get it or who to ask. i hope you can help me, i think that you can because you're always with me, but i'm scared this will be out of your league or something, and you'll leave, and i don't want that. that's why i'm having trouble deciding whether to come to you with this or not. it's really confusing me, ahh. well, i'm going to burn this now. maybe keep thinking about it. see you soon beb, love you.

devin.

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WORDS TO LIVE BY

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"Have you ever thought that if one thing hadn't happened, a whole lot of things never would have either? Like dominoes, a single event set off an unstoppable series of changes that gained momentum and spun out of control. And nothing was ever the same again. Don't ever doubt that a mere second can change your entire existence, forever."

eva, student, sgomez.

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_{made by kayla, inspired by erin & liz.}

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